Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Reteaching Gender and Sexuality, Computer Sickness and Why I Haven't Been Blogging!

I haven't been blogging much this month: I noticed that in any given month, I end up having roughly 12 posts. In November, there have been 7 posts so far, which is quite amazing. And yet, I somehow feel removed from the blog, and dear blog, I miss you.

So to catch up on why I haven't been blogging much:

-- It's thesis-crunch time. My final draft needs to be sent to my external examiner on the very day that school re-opens in January (failing which I don't graduate unless I can pay 3000 bucks to the university in fees, which I won't be able to afford since I already owe them the same amount and that'll lead me to being kicked out without graduating, and being kicked out of the country too.) So, the heavy writing and editing has been on, and it's been good (though I wish I could still "buy" more time, quite literally!)

-- When I woke up this morning, I felt sick: sick of my room and above all sick of my computer. Just the thought of the screen in which I stare for so many hours, just the sound of the keyboard as I type makes me sick... Never thought my relationship with hardware would reach that point. I hereby coin: computer sickness!

-- My Gmail account got hacked last night and spam mail was sent to all my contacts. These include personal contacts (which is fine), other personal contacts (such as old lovers and/or flings that ended up being bad sex) that I don't want to be in touch with, not even if it means spamming them... And professional contacts such as the University President, the Dean of Graduate Studies, supervisors, professors, colleagues, old colleagues and potential future PhD supervisors. I managed to trace the I.P. back to China (who ever thought I had such geek-power?!) but there's nothing much that I could do about it beyond that. I changed all my security settings for all my accounts, and I can only hope that it doesn't happen again.

-- When I haven't had a life that's directly connected with technology, I have been dancing a bit, doing some theatre too, and discussing issues of transphobia, homophobia and racism in Peterborough. Me is not happy with the way things are going these days and I'm getting worried for my security and for quite a few of my friends' security. [We're also thinking up a plan of action for January.]

-- I have also been thinking about myself as cisgendered.  Must have been that documentary we watched for Trans Day of Remembrance: it is called Southern Comfort (link here) and it is about Robert Eads, a female-to-male transsexual man who is dying of ovarian cancer. As he puts it himself in the film [and I paraphrase here]: "It's ironical how the only female part that is remaining in his body is in-fact what is killing him." I don't know what to say about being cisgendered, or able-bodied for that matter, other than... I do acknowledge my privileges. Might be a faggot, might be a bit black and a bit brown, might not be from a wealthy family, might be from an island lost in the middle of nowhere, might be the first of the family to have gone to university... But damn! In the midst of all that, I've had things easy: I'm fully able-bodied and cisgendered too.

-- Now, as always when there is a decrease in blogging flux, I try to make it up to you my sharing something super-awesome. Here is my something super-awesome! This beats all "It Gets Better" videos by a clear mile. And I think it's in line with what happens with Kurt in yesterday's episode of Glee (for the Gleeks out there): It's not about telling those kids that it's gonna get better [*] but it's about making sure it does get better right here, right now; it's about reteaching gender and sexuality, right here, right now...

[*] On the note of "It Gets Better" I would also like to share this fantastic article by Jasbir Puar that pretty much echoes my thoughts on it (and particularly on Dan Savage's video that did make me feel depressed.)


Neil said...

It's a slow process, I think, but we do need to start with the "teachers" in our society - within every infrastructure. Sometimes I even need to remind myself that I too can still learn.

One day I would love to see a commercial advertising... I don't know... laundry detergent - the actors maybe being a gay couple. But the purpose of the commercial is solely to promote the product. I don't want it to be a "gay" commercial. I want it to be an effective marketing campaign for getting out those hard-to-lift stains.

Amak said...

"For getting out those hard-to-lift stains"-- what a wonderful play on your words, Neil. I'm impressed!